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Father, My Heart Is CharredIn the alleyway, you gave your speech,
The meaning then, it didn't reach,
You stood there, telling me I had to be strong,
And protect everyone, but what you did was wrong,
You abandoned me there, in the alley that day,
I stood there crying, hoping you'd stay,
Alas, you left, destroying me, your son,
As if your duties as father were simply done,
Seven years old, I didn't know what I did,
So, of course, I blamed myself, being a kid,
I grew up, bitter and angry at you, wishing you dead,
Mother planted these thoughts in my head,
Confirmed my suspicions that it was all my fault,
I wanted my heart to come to a sudden halt,
Years went by without a word from you,
I came to know that people aren't true,
By the time you returned, the wounds had become scars,
The kind, innocent heart was blackened and charred,
Tears soaked my face, I'd never forget,
The years you were gone, I'd make you regret,
So father, I thank you for deciding to come back,
But you're still to blame for my heart turning black.
Searching for Sanctuary (Despicable Discipline)Under your thumb, I now reside,
You keep me tied up, and force me to hide,
Your screams, they echo into my room,
They seal my fate, ensure my doom,
I don't want to come out, I know what will follow,
You'll tear me apart, and leave me there, hollow,
Pounding begins, on my door from outside,
It seems, even here, I have no place to hide,
Into my closet, I cower in fear,
I hear your footsteps, you're ever so near,
Shaking, anticipating the oncoming rage,
Inside this closet, I'm trapped in a cage,
The door flies open, you see me there,
You strike me, I knew it, you don't even care,
Out of my closet,you pull me with force,
The beating continues, I knew it of course,
For hiding in my closet was a temporary reprieve,
I told myself I'd be safe, so easily deceived,
After you're done, you'll pretend we're okay,
As if it never happened, and it's just another day,
I'm sorry, but I can't just forget,
These bruises on my body, fill me with regret,
I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry I did it,
Happily LyingHappily broken, happily free,
Happily structured, happily me,
Happily punctured, happily scraped,
Happily mournful, happily escaped,
Happily nervous, happily shy,
Happily depressed, happily sigh,
Happily forgotten, happily missed,
Happily unloved, happily pissed,
Happily fearing, happily trying,
Happily smiling, happily lying,
Apologies are in order, indeed,
So happily, I now recede...
Miserable Secret... (Afraid)This unspoken feeling, we know it rather well,
For we've both hidden it inside, afraid to tell,
Afraid of this feelings power to break,
Afraid of giving another your heart to take,
Afraid that, perhaps, it won't be reciprocated,
Afraid that things won't go as we anticipated,
Either way, we kept it inside,
We never expressed it, we chose instead to hide,
Pretending we're happy, we put on a smile,
"Wishing I could tell you," all the while,
But both too afraid, we'll go on as friends,
And you know that's okay, because in the end,
As your friend or your lover, I'll always be here,
To pick you up when you fall, to abolish your fear,
It's true that I love you, but I'll never say,
So best friends we are, and best friends we'll stay.
Within My RoomHide inside, they will not find me in my lonely room,
But for so long I've been inside, will this become my tomb?
The outside world, it scares me so, I can't escape this feeling,
The people there, they cannot hide the innocence they're stealing,
They fight and steal and turn their backs on those that love them so,
My confidence, it's been crushed down, given no room to grow,
My heart it pounds at the very thought of being around these creatures,
The ones who care most about themselves and their own outer features,
Inside my mind, I'll never find the solution or the cure,
They'll just keep dwelling on the things that keep them so impure,
Meanwhile, I'll sit here, alone in my room, watching things transpire,
They'll tear themselves down, one by one, like a spreading fire,
I cannot leave this sanctuary, by my fears I've been consumed,
So here I'll hide, until I die, alone within my room.
People Pain PeopleYou said forever was a plausible endeavor,
You said our love was something time couldn't sever,
Then without warning, you left me alone,
Everything I'd feared, if only you'd known,
Time has moved on, but the scars are forever,
Wounds that won't heal, I can't trust again, ever,
Numerous times, I've given a chance,
A chance to come in or a chance to romance,
I've given up on friendships, they lead to more pain,
People are fickle, they're all much of the same,
Empty lies covered with countless excuses,
But after this pain, I now see through their ruses,
People are self-serving, without purpose or meaning,
You'd better watch out, you're demise they are scheming,
All I can do, is watch from afar,
Hoping I don't leave my heart's door ajar,
Allowing another to come on inside,
And hand me deception, with a bevy of lies...
I'll Be Your ShieldWhen you've no strength of your own to wield,
Allow me, my friend, to act as your shield,
When you're cold, betrayed, and left for dead,
I'll reach out my hand, help lift up your head,
Forgive me, my friend, for perfection escapes me,
I'm not without troubles, as you surely will see,
But that means not that I will leave you behind,
That simply means, if you'd be so kind,
That there may come a day, when I must turn to you,
And ask of you the things, that once got you through,
But no matter what, I'll always be here,
Aiding, protecting, there's no need to fear,
And though your sense of solitude seems to have grown,
As long as I'm here, you're never alone.
Love Trapped In DarknessSurpassed by the ones confirming you're lost,
Forced into nothing, unaware of the cost,
Faded, berated, broken, and tried,
Unforgiving of the tears you've cried,
Cast into darkness by the ones you held dear,
It's anything and everything you've now come to fear,
Scared, alone, and taken aback,
It appears as if life has faded to black,
But even you know that better days await,
They're just hard to see in your current state,
Until those days come, you must do your best,
You must show the world you are not what they suggest,
You're NOT lost, You're NOT done, You're NOT gone,
You're going to show them that you still can go on,
Forget what they say, what they do, what they think,
Because when the darkness subsides, you'll no longer sink,
When you arise from the darkness, there I will stand,
Ready and willing, reaching out my hand,
Together, we will find a place to hide,
A place where the darkness cannot come inside,
We'll hide there forever, just you and me,
And live there together, happy as
The Mysterious Feeling Of LoveLove,
Quite a mystery,
It holds on tight to our chest,
Clenches on to never let go,
We don't choose who we love,
It chooses its own targets,
That's not always a good thing,
Some people you love feel not the same for you,
They're not bad people,
Their love is simply not targeting you,
It's quite tragic, yes,
But it's not for us to decide,
No matter how much you love them,
It won't change this fact,
It will never happen in its current state,
All you can do,
Be the friend you should be,
Show them you care,
You cannot force love on to another,
It may never happen,
But there is always someone else,
Someone more likely to share your feelings,
Don't lose sight of what is important,
the truth about growing up
1. It's easier when you don't think.
1. It starts early,
on a cloudy day when you recall
the 'childhood memories' of
two summers ago,
that's when you start your backslide into
2. On the bright side
you won't notice this until you're
good and ripe in age,
so maybe it doesn't matter
3. That tightness in your chest?
The feeling that you're not ready
to take on the rest of your life; it
4. It stews in the pit of your stomach
makes you doubt,
but there will be days when you look back
on the mountains you climbed -
the raging rivers you crossed -
and you'll have a sneaking suspicion you were
more prepared than you thought.
5. There's nothing like your own bed.
6. Laundry will never smell right
without mom's sweat and tears.
But you still have to separate lights from darks,
keep the zippers pulled tight
and the buttons unhooked.
7. There is comfort in your parents' presence.
8. Things change
the future gnaws and rips
Stranger's funeralUnder the clouds
Under the rain
Staring at the coffin
At a stranger's funeral
We're all alone
Feeling the storm
But not the pain
For he's but a stranger
And the graves around us
Are just there
Keeping us company
During this empty moment
LullabyHush, my baby,
Be still, don't cry.
Lay with me
A little while.
Close your eyes,
Slow your breath.
Hear your heart
Inside your chest?
Your heart is strong,
It guides you well.
Be sure to listen
To what it tells.
I hear him now,
Outside the room.
It won't be long,
He'll find us soon.
Now close your eyes,
Slow your breath,
And rest your head
Upon my chest.
CarolineYou loved the fire
of rogues -
imperfect men who shot up
the endings of the day
and drank down
too much beauty.
And like one of them,
you bellied with rebellion,
felt his tense seed
toil where women
and craved his notoriety.
Poor girl -
his verses won the day
and the call of words
was too fickle a lover
for any constant star.
Don't blame yourself -
are more attractive
and all poets are
Southern modernizationBlack comedy market economy, banana peel political humour, cards with the cartels, the solution free room service and credit the union. Bolivar twist, ding dong dollar under control, valley of the coin desert with no value. Gangsta paradise, the victims are the people. Big mac and cold conflict interference a part of it all. In little Mexico you’d need a high horse to jump the great border wall that boasts its peak.
Viracocha melts waters unlike those it rose from, making waves of out of metal oceans to overtake the current south, re-steel, re-take, tech-mechs the entire south into neo-Machu Picchu, cyberpunk music moulding, reshaping old society into an new age, iron dynasty, fresh coat for an old, ancient look. The coattails of Quetzalcoatl if he were a modern man pull together the merge of future and long passed past..techno temples and the like.
Darkest MoonI celebrate my right to live;
To the dismay of some, perhaps
It should be noted
These words I write, however true
Are only portions of the moon
I’ve decide to shine light upon.
But who am I to preach respect?
Who Am I to preach equality?
An advocate for re-personification
Of the female gender
But exhibits cannibalistic characteristics
Within dark spaces.
I am a shadow
Hidden within an Eggshell, painted pink,
Waiting to hatch.
Is the darkness
The night brought upon us.
things to tell you before i leave for collegeto mrs hatcher:
i promise that one day i will write that poem you asked me for
(the only thing you ever asked me for)
and i will finally tell you that you deserve
so much more.
to mr. walker:
i promise that i will not pity you.
i promise that i will not envy you.
i promise that you will always be part of my forget-me-nots and marigolds.
i promise to always be grateful.
i promise to be careful.
i promise to be crazy.
i promise that i will remember what it feels like to be needed
and what it feels like to let someone who needs you down.
i promise that i will never resent you for asking for help
and that i will always be there when you do.
i promise that even sixty years from now,
i will not be surprised to find a letter from you in my mailbox.
i promise to always remember what it felt like to be young and crazy with you,
how scared and lonely we were.
i will remember that we both survived it,
and that we'll survive this, too.
You Were Born Missing SomethingYour skin is glazed with crystals of frost
and your heart's valves are close to
freezing shut tight
from being devoid of something
Though I am torrents of hail, whirling storms,
warm tears streaking,and tornadoes of rage
that flow uncontrollably through my veins
and out of my mouth,
every breath near you is warm
because your words are so cold
I am a natural disaster at its finest
with bones twisted in painful angles
and a crooked spine
you were born spineless
A Friend Is...Friends,
They're there when you need them,
They're there when you don't,
They've always got your back,
Through thick and thin,
Through good and bad,
They try to understand you,
They try to put themselves in your shoes,
They help you through the hard times,
Through thick and thin,
Through good and bad,
A friend is a friend forever.
ViolinI remember the day
you told me violins
were strung with cat gut
and that is why
you hated music
(who says that to a child?)
I followed you
all that summer.
I watched you
grow away from mother -
your whiskey held better conversations
and all she did was cry.
We'd sit cross-legged on the porch
and count the horseflies
settling on our lunch.
You would drown tadpoles
in a bucket
surprised they could not swim
and I would dream
of cherry popsicles.
And when night would gather
on the sidewalk
I'd hold my breath
until a star appeared.
Don't bother making wishes
you'd tell me -
stars are dead weight in heaven
and God has cloth ears.
to crumble up
the remnant pieces
of my love for you
and throw them in the trash
but I'm such a bad shot.
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